There are plenty of things in the world to panic about. Some are rational. Many are not. If we were worried about real dangers, we would be constantly freaking out about the flu, dying in a car crash,giardia, whooping cough, chronic stress, obesity, skin cancer, or drowning.
Once you’re in a panic, there are so many things to panic about! But it’s also possible to stay cool—to follow the immortal advice of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: DON’T PANIC.
With that in mind, below is a list of 32 real-life phenomena that could be panic-inducing, but chances are you are not panicking about them currently.
Feel free to substitute any of these concerns for a real panic-inducing anxiety. Why worry about an election you can’t control when you can freak out about the lights on the 2017 Jeep Wrangler or the giant underwater city found off the coast of Mexico? (Was it built by aliens? Could it have been built by aliens?)
Either way, just remember: deep breaths always help. Ready? Here we go. These are 32 things that we are totally not panicking about!
- Radioactive avocados
- Expensive avocados
- Badly brewed tea
- Spiders on bananas
- Global coffee shortage (ok, maybe a little now that it’s come up)
- Global chocolate shortage
- Ginger-nut biscuit shortage
- Buses without working brakes
- 2017 Jeep Wrangler headlights
- Eavesdropping TVs
- Robot self awareness
- Algorithms taking our jobs
- The state of the Pokemon Go servers
- Youtube being down
- Peach butts on Instagram
- The relationship between Bachelor stars Cam & Nikki
- Hugh Jackman’s mullet
- Meth in your ecstasy
- How to pronounce Ryan Gosling’s name (It’s“Gosssling” not “Gozzling.”)
- Soaring rents
- Brexit
- Zika virus
- Russian missiles
- Death by zit-popping
- Fecal particles in beards
- Changing star signs
- The black moon
- Asteroids destroying the planet
- Overbooked LSAT centers
- A giant underwater city possibly built by aliens
- Giant robot jellyfish
- Dolphins abandoning us
We hope this helps.