Someone, help these trees. A twree-storm.
1.
This tree burned itself down while freebasing cocaine and is all like, "Aaaaahhh." pic.twitter.com/qTnumkggeq
— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) September 19, 2015
2.
"I am become Log, Destroyer of Fences" pic.twitter.com/1cEG7amIC9
— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) September 19, 2015
3.
This tree's all, "I have such a low opinion of myself because I look like a giant, bug-eyed rat and it's exhausting." pic.twitter.com/swwcLgmsgo
— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) September 19, 2015
4.
"Long gone is my time as tree. With integrity (and some sorrow,) slowly, slowly, I transition to fence." pic.twitter.com/T1zqRNS18j
— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) October 18, 2015
5.
Like a dumb, slack-jawed hippo, thinking about nothing. pic.twitter.com/MVvzMJxtm1
— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) November 3, 2015
6.
"Someone yelled FIRE in a crowded theater; everyone ran. I was the person who yelled fire. I was the theater too." pic.twitter.com/6kf5U9RCRc
— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) November 12, 2015
7.
"I feel so alone, gonna end up a big ole pile of them bones." - Alice in Chains. pic.twitter.com/PGgDooeS5V
— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) November 13, 2015
8.
8/ Passed out at a tree party, "friends" stuck these all over me. Very funny, losers. pic.twitter.com/sU7jKRU6PR
— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) November 16, 2015
9.
9. "Hikers passed. Their kid was straggling. Thought it'd be funny if I stuck out my tongue. That was 33 years ago." pic.twitter.com/mVEcLWgb4z
— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) December 3, 2015
10.
10. "Dreamt I'd grown downtown. The people hung bunting from me! Woke up in the woods again, buckled in shame." pic.twitter.com/3gbkgD09ue
— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) December 3, 2015
11.
11. The Double Face of Janice. pic.twitter.com/fELALudV0S
— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) January 19, 2016
12.
12. "omg I'm dead I'm literally dead" pic.twitter.com/9VUtyND7Hx
— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) March 18, 2016
13.
13. "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!" pic.twitter.com/Cz2fB1CjCh
— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) March 25, 2016
14.
14. "It's like I'm not even a tree anymore. I'm just an altar - to myself. Grief is a flat circle, man." pic.twitter.com/i1RAGPnLfL
— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) March 30, 2016
15.
15. The Euler characteristic of this tree equals zero. (This tree is a Möbius strip.) pic.twitter.com/T3mfCXWujZ
— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) May 18, 2016